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True StoriesCaryl J.
Frawley: Former Legislator
A great deal of my life has been influenced by what can only be described as serendipity. About 12 years ago, I was part of several informal women's groups in Syracuse, New York, where my husband, two children and I lived for 25 years. We were networking big time before the word became a permanent part of the lexicon. We all worked in professional positions and, among other things, routinely talked about the fact that we believed we had capabilities that were untapped or under appreciated. (OK--we KNEW we had them and we did as much griping and teeth grinding as talking).) I used to say to them, "I would like to get all of you together and form a business; I'd call it Neat Women Inc," which is how I thought of them. I wanted to fully utilize our talents, energy and resourcefulness, because I knew we had a reservoir of knowledge about meeting life's challenges and dealing with them successfully, on both personal and professional levels. I didn't have a concrete plan then for doing that so I tucked away the idea. Then, about a year and a half after my so-called "first retirement" [from politics] I began to read articles about this new technological era, I said, "Gee, what about a Web site?" And, immediately I thought: Neat Women Inc. Believe it or not I sat down with that name and within about two hours I had Now Enjoy All Things Women Overcoming Middle-age Ever Need--It's Not CARYL (Can Always Rest on Your Laurels). Recovering Perfectionist As a "Recovering Perfectionist WorkAholic" who has only reached about step 7 in the 12 step program, I found myself frustrated beyond words when I was forced to take an early retirement for medical reasons (I'm not on disability because this condition, which primarily effects women of all ages, does not yet qualify). I knew I had, at the very least, another 25 to 30 years of ideas, interests, and enthusiasm for pursuing them -- but my body was not in the mood to go along with the frenetic, driven lifestyle I had always lived and loved. Not long after my husband retired and we relocated to Louisville, Kentucky, I began to get better acquainted with the computer. Although I was technically-challenged, I began taking computer courses and started "fumbling around" in cyberspace. I must admit that initially I was quite intimidated by the whole concept of the World Wide Web. I’ve always been willing to take risks and deal with the consequences and I am not embarrassed to say I occasionally was discouraged. When tackling new frontiers, women need to remember that it’s OK to think about ourselves and what we really would like to do without feeling guilty. Don’t do guilt and don’t wait for other people to influence your decisions. Take charge of your life. As the saying goes, "Retirement is a time when you stop living at work and start working at living!" Now, for the first time in my life, I am my own boss and I like that. Most significantly, I’ve encountered an entirely new, interesting and fun group of women in the virtual world, and I’m having many satisfying and rewarding experiences. When a woman visits Neat Women Inc for the first time and writes to say that it offers just what she needs at this time in her life, that’s better than money in the bank. I wished that younger women would find some of our shared wisdom helpful, and they have. My hope when I started -- it's even stronger now -- is that EVErywoman who connects with Neat Women Inc will come away with a better understanding of, and a better appreciation for, herself. The feedback thus far indicates they overwhelmingly do. I have no idea where this path is headed but I would prefer to go where there is no path and leave a trail. I don’t do boredom and I don’t do windows but beyond that I’ll just jump off the bridges as I get to them!! Not only have I discovered that this is, in fact, the best time in life -- I’ve been learning so much, I feel both enriched and enhanced as a person. I truly embrace and have discovered the truth in the expression, "No one ever grows old -- people get old when they stop growing." Getting Started Advice from Caryl: I fervently believe that the women "of a certain age" I've been blessed to know, have faced formidable obstacles--including "overcoming middle- age" and that if we were to examine our endurance techniques and traits, we most likely could impart something useful to the huge number of women following us into this uncharted territory. Home | True
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entrepreneur, Caryl J. Frawley, 59, has taught middle school, worked five years as a
flight attendant, and "fell into politics," serving three terms as Onondaga (New
York) County Legislator. After she decided not to seek re-election, she went to work for
Niagara Mohawk Power Corporation in community/public/ government relations. After
taking an "early retirement" from this job for medical reasons, Caryl tried to
"smell the roses and enjoy doing nothing," -- a decision that lasted all of 18
months. In September 1998, after she relocated with her husband to Kentucky, she
launched